Dark Days and Dancing Shadows
by Dst0rtedRelIty
Summary: You are a young woman who has experienced alot of traumatising things that you probably shouldn't have. Its gotten so bad that you've started trying to commit suicide- will a certain someone stop you? And who will this mysterious man be?


**Prologue**

I ran the blade uncertainly over my wrist. Would this do the trick? It was only a tiny razor i found in the bathroom, but it could do it, right..?

I was so sick of the pain.. the pain physically, emotionally- not to mention spiritually. Everything was drained from me. Everything.

I was so done. I had hit rock bottom.

A place so dark and unforgiving, that if you ever find yourself there, it's hard to ever come back.

This was where i was right now. Standing in the bathroom with a blade angled sharply over my vein. One move of my hand and it'd all be over. Everything i ever knew would vanish in one long, painful moment. It was sad to think that it had gotten so bad i would rather take existence's most precious thing and slice it until i died a horrible death, not only for me, but for my loved ones, than put up with my withdrawals and everything else. But i only started having withdrawals when i had lost too much blood. Thats right.

I had done this before.

This was a weekly ritual for me. When i wasn't basically body-guarded or in the hospital, i was doing everything i could to put an end to this misery. The few people that knew of this insanity had done everything they could to keep me here... But it's just not good enough. A feeling this bad, this cruel, this torturous.. It must be my fate.

I can't do it anymore. It's time to take off the bandages fastened around my wrists and puncture that pulsing artery. It was luring me closer, i was literally begging myself to just go with it and cut. After all, it wasn't hard, learn't from previous experiences, but something was making me hesitant this one night..

Someone was there. It's that gut feeling you get, the presence of another being nearby. I was standing over the sink, concentrating on my face in the mirror and my half-healed wrists, still showing the painful reminders of last time.. and the time before that.. I hadn't even bothered to put on make-up on the last few weeks. Whats the point? So there were no black mascara streaks around my eyes. Just red puffiness, and bloodshot eyes staring at a hopeless reflection into glass.

What was life anymore? Deep thoughts. Very. Deep. Thoughts. They shrouded my mind. They never went away. Ever.

The only escape was death. Pure, glorious death. I had learnt to embrace it. The elimination of something with potential to do this to any thing that can experience it deserves to be non existent. Thats how i looked at it. I closed my eyes, taking a shallow breath. I can't do this with him here. He'll just do it all over again. I have to wait.

"What do you want Gunner. I'm not doing _that_."

I kept my eyes closed and my body still, waiting in silence for a response. I heard a sigh of exasperation outside the bathroom door, which was conveniently locked anyway, but i still kept caution.

After a few more heartbeats, i heard his voice.

"I don't believe you. You're taking ages in there. Please don't do this." He actually sounded scared for me.. Almost like he was about to burst into tears. For a second i felt a pang of sympathy for him.. But no. This had to be done. and he was stopping me.

"Just go away Gunner, i don't need you guarding me twenty-four-seven like this. I'm just trying to get a little privacy.."

In my opinion, i kept my tone as calm as possible, and thought i was quite convincing. But Gunner is intelligent. He knows all my tricks. Its annoying.

"Y/N get out now. and don't even think about hurting yourself, or i _will_ do it all over again."

Silence. I had to make a decision. I liked the silence. I liked his voice, but it got annoying after a while if all you've grown to match it to are serious talks about things you don't want to talk about. It kinda makes you subconsciously not like that person after a while.

I lived with Entoan and Dlive, which is what most people know them by. I have for a little while, since this started. They've kinda been the only ones to truly try to help me, and i appreciate that. Dlive was okay. But Entoan.. Now wasn't the time to be thinking about falling in love. Reality-check.

His voice echoed through the door sadly and hopelessly.

"Please, Y/N, just please do not do this. You have so much to live for. I can't keep doing this for much longer. and that wasn't a helpful hint. Im saying i'll take you to an asylum if i have to. And you know what they're like."

His voice bounced around inside my egg-shell of a head. Just echoing emptyness filled with useless thoughts that could never escape captivity.

I was frozen to the spot. What did i do? I was starting to doubt myself. What if i can't do it.. Not life, but death.. If i do it, theres no going back.. Ever.

"Help me-" is all i could gasp out, as i sank to the ground that was paved with cold, welcoming tiles. Another withdrawal. This wasn't just from blood though. The emotions clouded my vision, and in the edge of my mind i could hear Gunner screaming.

"Help! Somebody help me please! Y/N Is locked in the bathroom and having a withdrawal-"

But it all just ended up fading away. Would i wake up this time? I don't even remember stabbing myself. But i must have, because this time felt different.

Was this the end?

Maybe.

Maybe i would spend my last moments on the bathroom ground, bleeding to death, whilst Gunner screamed for help with nothing to do to stop me from fading away.

Im sorry world. It had to be done.

However i leave, i was happy. Not for the others, but for myself.

It was finally _over_.


End file.
